Det är seriöst inte normalt att få tårar i ögonen på sidan tre av en bok.
Men jo, i John Winchester's journal fick jag det.
Och har haft det sedan dess.

Hittade boken online, så sitter och läser den.
Jag förstår helt plötsligt John så himla mycket bättre nu.
Har aldrig tyckt om honom - förutom i ett avsnitt. Eller ja, två.
Har läst typ 25 sidor, och har kanske 200 kvar.
Kommer jag gråta mer?
Definitivt. 



November 16, 1983
Dean still hardly talks. I try to make small talk, or ask him if he wants to throw the baseball around. Anything to make him feel like a normal kid again. He never budges from my side — or from his brother. Every morning when I wake up, Dean is inside the crib, arms wrapped around baby Sam.
Like he’s trying to protect him from whatever is out there in the night.

I took the boys, said good-bye to Missouri, and got the hell out of Lawrence.
If I never go back, it’ll be too soon.
Not for Dean, though. The first thing he wanted to know was when we would go home. But we don't have a home anymore, Dean.

November 20, 1983
Dean walked out of the roadhouse right when I put the final bullet into the shape-shifter's head. And he said, Why'd you kill him, Dad?
How am I supposed to answer that? Because he wasn't a man, he was a monster who looked like a man?
My boy walked out the door and saw me shoot someone in the head.
Maybe I'm the monster who looks like a man.

December 25, 1983
Mary will never see Dean hit a home run.
She'll never see Sammy walk, or hear him say his first words. She won't take Dean to his first day at school, or stay up all night with me worrying the first night he takes the car out. It's not right that she's not here, and that's all I could think about today. I am so angry I can barely see straight - I want my wife back.

December 29, 1983
Dean hasn't been the same since he saw me kill that shape-shifter. I don't know how to talk to him about it. He's not even five years old. What do I say to him? How old does he have to be before I tell him the truth?

May 17, 1984
Sammy took his first steps yesterday. He walked toward Dean, then fell flat on his face and started crying. Life is though, kid. Do I sound like a proud Dad? I am.



Sen har jag inte kommit längre.
Men bra är den, och kommer läsa mer idag.
Men måste läsa VD också.
Haha av någon anledning har jag alltid kunnat läsa två böcker samtidigt.
Man läser någon bok i skolan, och så läser man en hemma.
Jag har aldrig blandat ihop böckerna, som många andra gör.
Nu läser jag två böcker hemma, och det kommer gå lika bra som alltid x)